Showering With Sandpaper
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On August 13, 2014, I wrote the following for your reading pleasure:
There are these things called shower gloves. I learned of them four months ago and they received rave reviews from the woman who referred them to me. They scrub off all the dead skin, gardening dirt and goat grime that accumulates on your unsuspecting, soap resisting skeleton sack.
Just the other day, they jumped out at me in the grocery store aisle. Nearly made it right onto my hands.
$2.39 impulse purchase.
For me, the idea of having something that would REALLY clean my epidermis was attractive because I have found that even after I wash with really sudsy, deep cleaning goat milk soap, if I scratch my skin after showering, I sometimes end up with dirtish colored stuff under my fingernails. Yuck.
I’ll attempt to paint a picture of the shower glove experience for you:
You stand under the cascading warm shower water, and melt into relaxation in your birthday suit. You wash your hair and rinse.
Now that it’s time to wash your body, you don your shower gloves.
(Process this in your mind: You are in the shower. All wet. You’re putting gloves on? Your mind requires a reboot: it thinks you must be mistaken and that you are actually going sledding. Yet the gloves feel like sandpaper. Reboot Again: it now thinks you are a construction worker. Naked. In the shower. Final Reboot: yes, you are showering, with gloves on.)
You commence rubbing the bright blue, soapy sandpaper on your face, careful not to create rug burns. Your legs and arms are tougher, you scrub them harder. Dirt, grime, dead skin…THESE GLOVES TAKE NO PRISONERS.
You rinse off, get out of the shower and scratch. Nothing under the fingernails.
The verdict: They work.
But you’re still not sure if it’s wise to use sandpaper in the shower. Just seems weird.
– Lindsey, The Goat Cheese Lady
P.S. According to my 7-year-old, weird is just a side effect of awesome. I guess that makes shower gloves awesome? Not sure about that yet.
Now, some updated notes about shower gloves from today, November 26, 2018:
– My 7-year-old is now 11.
– I go into withdrawals if I don’t have my shower gloves with me on an overnight or on vacation. I’m addicted, they are still weird and they are totally awesome.
– I now own a pair of white shower gloves that after so much use are sort of tannish.
– The 5 gloves in the picture above cost $10 for 5 pairs on Amazon and you can get them here, making them $2 per pair…cheaper than they were 4 years ago!
Lindsey, Your Fellow Freaky Mom
P.S. Did you enjoy this? If so, comment and share it on facebook…your positive feedback keeps me going!
P.P.S. If you buy something as a result of clicking on a link, picture or ad in this email, thank you. I will get some of the money. Depending on what you click on, I might earn 10 cents or more. I appreciate it. Thanks for reading…and buying.