What’s A Freaky Mom?
Before we moved from the big city, my kids had been in the same Elementary School their whole lives. I knew their friends. I knew their friends’ parents. I knew where their friends lived.
When we moved to our small town however, I didn’t know any of the friends, the friends’ parents or where the friends lived. Diego was in fifth grade, Andre in second.
I started from scratch.
Step One, Meet the Friends.
And that’s where the Freaky Mom Story begins.
In the fall of Diego’s sixth grade year, I went to parent-teacher conferences. I didn’t know where to go in the middle school and asked a girl in the hallway for directions. She pointed me toward the right classroom but before leaving, I said, “Do you know Diego?” She smiled and said yes. That was Sally.
Sometime later I saw a kid about Diego’s age. I recognized him from Diego’s school and waved. We’ll call him John.
Around the same time but at a soccer game, a girl I had seen with Diego was posing for a picture and I jumped in…the picture. Yes, I agree, that was kind of weird, but remember, I was on Step One, Meet The Friends. That was Erica.
Proceed forward a few days and Diego and I were driving home from soccer practice. We were on the long country road that leads to our house, about minute 20 of a 25 minute drive, it was pitch-dark and the car had been quiet for a good stretch.
Out of the blue, he blurted, “Mom. Today we were all sitting around the table talking about our moms and when it got to you like 14 of my friends said that you are freaky, creepy, weird…” “Oh right,” (because he’s known to exaggerate), “Name ’em.”
Much to my amusement, he proceeded to count off on his fingers approximately 14 of his friends, describing my infraction for each.
Finger number one: “Sally said your freaky because you smiled at her.”
Finger two: “John said your creepy because you waved at him.”
Finger three: “Erica said you’re weird because you got in a picture with her.” (OK, I agree on that one. Photobomb by Freaky Mom you’ve never met. She’s got me there.)
…and on and on for 11 more.
I did some obligatory, “Whaaaat??” “No way!” “Give me a break!” But in that moment, I proudly donned the story as a badge of honor. My kid’s friends will know who I am, I will know who they are and that’s just how it’s going to be.
At soccer practice a few days later, I was on a run with my new friend and fellow mom, Emily. I recounted the details of the story and, after splitting a gut, she laughingly announced the inception of the Freaky Mom Club!
That was 3 years ago and Emily and I have proudly referred to ourselves as Freaky Moms ever since.
Her son and husband had Freaky Mom Coach t-shirts printed for us the first year we coached our boys’ basketball team, she emblazoned Freaky Mom Coach on the backs of our coaching t-shirts the next year. My boys don’t call her Emily, they call her Freaky Mom. When I call her boys, my name doesn’t show up on their phones, Freaky Mom does.
The name has now taken on a life of its own.
More friends have joined the club, we have laughed until we’ve cried telling the story and inducting new members, we have stickers with which to award random acts of Freaky Mom, usually on the side of a soccer field, we even have a Freaky Mom gang sign and, during half time of our boys’ soccer game, began developing a Netflix series (Netflix doesn’t know about it yet).
A book is in the works (I’ll let you know when it’s published.)
The Freaky Mom Club is a place to laugh till you pee, search to the bottom of your soul and realize you are not alone.
You are doing an awesome job and your kids will appreciate it when they’re older. Sure, you make mistakes as a mom. I do too. You aren’t perfect. Neither am I. But you’re doing your best. Working on balance, love, consequences, rewards, carpools, not pulling your hair out, remembering to shave your legs and sometimes doing the laundry.
(Speaking of consequences…check this out.)
You are a Freaky Mom if you (among a zillion other things):
1. Love your kids with a passion.
2. Scream the loudest at their soccer games. (They don’t play soccer? I still like you. Substitute drama, band, volleyball…)
3. Take their phones for bad grades.
4. Say “No” when you’re in line and they’re begging for candy at the store.
5. Expect the best.
6. Expect mistakes.
7. Reflect on your mothering style.
8. Are involved.
9. Embarrass them because you love them.
10. Know their friends.
That’s why it’s time you know about it. You can join the club too.
Are you a Freaky Mom?
There are zillions (oh, ya, I already said that) of ways you qualify as a Freaky Mom, and one of the most important is setting boundaries for and disciplining your kids when they need it. But are you doing it in a way that the lesson will stick?
Partly because of my experience as a Freaky Mom, partly because I want you to experience the silent whispers of support of support from your fellow Freaky Mom when your kids are in trouble and you have to choose between letting it slide or following through with a consequence and partly because of my experience as an Occupational Therapist, I developed the Consequence of the Week program. You can check it out>>>here.
Be the kind of Freaky Mom your kids will appreciate when they’re older (because they sure don’t now.)
Good Job Mom,
P.S. Here’s a good Creative Consequences board on Pinterest >>>here it is