How To Teach Your Kids To Deal With Defeat

Dear Second Place,

You feel like you’ve failed.  And you have.

If your goal was to get first and you got second, you’re right.  You failed.

But in failure, you have two choices. 

Let it wear you down.  Label yourself as a failure instead of what is true:  you failed to reach your goal.

You are not a failure.

Your other choice is to learn from it.

You worked so hard to get first, but you got second.  What can you learn from that?  What fire can you light inside yourself to do even better next time so that you reach your goal?

Getting first is easy.  You celebrate, you revel in the glory, you carry a title, you display a trophy.

Getting second builds character.  No one chooses to “build character” over getting first, but choose to use this experience to build your character.  

Choose not to label yourself as a failure, but as one who learns from failure and surpasses it.  

When I was in high school and got second place but wanted first, I felt I had failed.  My dad told me that night, “The sun will rise tomorrow.”  Though the words felt empty at the time, I have never forgotten them.

The sun will rise for you tomorrow, too.

Choose how you are going to learn from your experience yesterday.

Although you failed to reach your goal, you are an amazing person who worked hard when you were exhausted.  You got out of bed when it was cold.  You gave it all when you didn’t have anymore to give.

You are a success.

Love, Mom